And the Gaming Begins . . .

3 July 2013

I am a 56-year-old biologist and a writer of speculative fiction. I've never played a video game. The time, however, has come to see what the fuss was about. My kids love them. I watch them shooting things all day long, so since there is nothing like jumping into the fray to see what things are about, I'm leaping with both feet and is the chronicle of my adventure. I chose the game 'The Last of Us" because I like zombies, the cover was cool, and lots of people gave it lots of stars. Since I don't have a clue what makes a good game I thought I'd rely on cool covers to make the choice, which totally works for books. I'm not going to avoid spoilers. You are warned.

So here it is: The video gaming of Steve.

Day one:

Excited. The package came. I also bought the game guide. I flip through the guide and astonishinly, the amount of information is staggering. When I was a kid in the Army I'd seen less complex manuals for driving a tank. The pictures are gorgeous and dynamic. The characters seem well wrought. Wow, the creatures I'm going to be clubbing, and shooting and hacking seem terrifyingly hideous.  Fun!

I put the CD in the Playstation. It has to update. Does this happen every time? Finally it's back. It opens with a scene of domestic goodness. Daughter gives Dad a watch. Then he carries her to bed. The tenderness of the scene makes the inevasible horrors coming seem worse (although I really don't care about anyone yet). They don't seem photo realistic to me. I'm surprised because I thought these games were supposed to be so. Like in the movies.

Lucky I bought the book with instructions on the hand held dilly-bobber because I'm suppose to be guiding her around now. So I look up in the book and there is a toggle. I'm quickly getting her to back up all over the room. My son comes in and tells me the other toggle will change the camera perspective and guide the girl's direction. I try it. This is so hard. She wants to back up and I have to simultaneously drive her around and put the camera in the right place so she'll follow it. I thought this was suppose to be fun. My brain is not wired for using both hands to move people around! Why can't I just back her up everywhere.

The world is falling apart. I learn that times you can't do anything but watch are called 'cut scenes.' These are nice because the pressure's off to make the character walk around and pick things up. The demands on you are unrelenting.

People in apocalypses sure swear a lot.

The world is falling apart. I'm in a car crash. My daughter can't walk. So I pick her up. I'm being chased by zombies—I think they are zombies. They get me three or four times and thank goodness they just start me where I left off. If I had to start from the beginning—wow that be the pits.

Well, I come to a place I have to take a sharp right through a gate, avoid zombies, run up some stairs, and through a small door. To do this I have to make all the turns which means running my character, and changing the camera angle so I can get through these passages. All at the same time!

I try. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

When I change the camera angle, sometimes I'm looking straight up. Sometimes down from a height above. Sometimes from behind. How can I keep watching where I am going and steer at the same time? This is impossible.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

I try again. I am killed by a zombie.

Finally! I'm through the door! Safe at last! Then a cut scene followed by a soldier shooting my daughter dead. What! What! I just spent an hour saving her and she just dies? This is clearly not PacMan of my day where your efforts are rewarded. Whaah. I'm through the first level. I save my place and quit. I'm exhausted. What a workout. My brain hurts.

Assessment:

This is going to take skill. A thing I never supposed.